So usually my blog is an update on our day to day life in Japan and traveling, but I have had some words on my heart lately that I would like to share and I hope they might relate to some of you too.
The subject: Being Content in the "now"
Ever since I can remember, mainly in my school days, there has always been a need to look ahead and/or wish time away. Whether it was for summer vacation, prom, a sleepover, leaving for college or waiting to visit Will at school on the weekends...wishing time away has been a constant in my life. I'm not trying to say that being excited for something or looking forward to something is a bad thing, I just know its sometimes hard for me to live in the moment and to be content with the "now".
More recently this has applied to our new life here in Japan and the speed bumps that have surrounded us. Ever since day one of moving here, I have had a countdown of when we get to leave. Of course its hard moving across the world suddenly leaving everything you know and love behind, and on top of that your husband being gone more then half the year, but I have realized lately that wishing our time away here is keeping me from truly understanding our purpose of being put here in the first place. I know Jesus has such a bigger plan for this time of our lives and I need to set my focus on the "now" instead of the "after now".
I feel like so many of us can relate to this in more then one way. We get so caught up in our day to day lives and what is to come, and forget about how the Lord is using us in that exact moment.
The verse that has been in my head lately is Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God".
Be still. Two small words but with such a great impact. It is so hard for me to just "be still". So many times I want my prayer answered right now because waiting just seems impossible. Life can be so busy and can pass us so fast but all God wants from us is to be still and let him handle the rest. Such a simple message yet so easy to forget.
Moving to Japan is such an easy go to when I think about wishing time away, but there are other areas in my life that this applies as well. With waiting for Will to come home, waiting to see my family again or waiting for orders to our next duty station...there are constant unknowns surrounding me.
Probably the hardest and most emotional time of waiting in our lives recently is waiting for a baby. This subject probably hits close to home in so many people and even makes me partially uncomfortable to talk about something so personal. This past year God has really asked us to trust him and to know that his plan is perfect, even if that means waiting to be parents. Automatically I want to look ahead and try to get answers right away, to know when that day of being a mother will happen, but instead I have been praying to try and understand what he is doing with my life right "now". I have had to learn that God doesn't make us wait for things to punish us or to make us feel abandoned. God wants us to trust him in all situations, big or small.
I hope some of you can find comfort in reading this in some way. We all have reasons to wish time away and to not be content with our lives in the now. I will be the first to say I struggle with this every day. Whether its waiting for a new job, an engagement, a marriage, a baby, or even just smaller day to day things, I encourage you to find your contentment in the now and listen to where God is leading you.
Please continue your prayers for us as we continue this sensitive time and get more answers! Pray that I can just "be still" and find peace that I am not alone even when I feel like I am out here in Japan!
Deuteronomy 31:6, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Love you all,