Trust

"We've done everything we can for you here. Maybe you can try for a family when you get back to the United States."

I'll never forget those words as I sat in the doctors office on base, alone, praying there were more test or options the doctor would give me to try for a baby. I remember feeling like the wind had been knocked out of me and all I wanted to do was cry.  How in the world could I wait until we were back in the states to start this process all over again? We still had almost 2 years left in Japan and I couldn't understand why this was our only option at this point. 

Will was deployed, shocker, and I had been seeing doctor after doctor to get tests done while he was away so we could get right to it when he returned. This was in the Summer of 2016 and luckily Will was due to return for the halfway mark of deployment soon. The summer seemed to drag on, as they usually did during deployment, but this one in particular felt like it would never end. As long as I can remember, all I have ever wanted was to be a mom. You never think that when the time comes and you are ready, someone would be there telling you it may not happen. 

When Will was back in Japan for a visit we finally saw a doctor that gave us some great advice and a glimmer of hope! He said with the timeline we had as far as our time left in Japan, and the limited time we had with Will around, it was in our best interest to go the route of Invitro Fertilization. I'll be honest, I knew a little about IVF and what it stood for, but was pretty clueless on the actual process and what it entailed. Regardless, I felt the life come back into my body and was ready for him to tell us we could just go ahead and start that day since we were at the hospital already! This was it...I was on cloud nine! 

The doctor then went on to bring me back to earth by saying the Naval hospital did not do fertility treatments, but he could give me a list of Japanese clinics all over the area that specialized in it. 

I'm sorry...did you just say Japanese clinics? 

The next few days were spent researching and frantically looking for answers on where to begin. We were also getting ready for a trip we had planned to Bali, Indonesia for the next week while Will was visiting. This trip came at such a perfect time allowing us to talk about our options and research together. The sunshine and the sight seeing weren't so bad either...

Homecomings never get old! 

Bali monkeys!

Scenery was gorgeous...waterfall wasn't bad either 

Learning about Bali coffee

Taste testing the Bali Coffee!

So glad I have the pictures to remember the mustache I loved so much!

We had the most amazing trip!

A sweet friend of mine and fellow military wife in Japan, came forward and told me her own struggles with infertility. We actually spoke a lot about it during the Summer when I was having testing done and once she found out we would be going the IVF route, she was such a blessing as guidance during that time. She gave me the information of the Japanese doctor she and her husband used while in Japan and spoke so highly of him. Talk about a total God moment. I didn't need to know anymore, it just felt so meant to be and so right.

 August 5, 2016 on the beach of Bali, Indonesia I called and made the appointment to meet Dr. Yanaihara and his team later that week. 

If anyone remembers when Will and I found out we got Japan, you will remember that I wasn't "thrilled" with this idea. In fact I remember breathing into a paper bag at 2am after finding out. Looking back, that was pretty dramatic and I could breathe fine, but it seemed appropriate to make sure I got my point across on just how I felt about the news. Bless you Will. 
I had a major pity party and thought, "God, why in the world are you sending me there? What good could come of me leaving my entire life, family and comforts to go across the world to basically be alone, while Will is gone the whole time? What did I do to deserve this?" 

Knowing what I know now, as I look back at our journey to get here, I wish I could go back and hug that version of myself. I would say...TRUST in the Lord. His plan for you is perfect and you just have to WAIT (theres that word again) and see what he has in store for you. I could have never imagined the blessings that were in waiting for me...and it all started with that first doctors appointment in the little town of Ofuna, Japan on August 9, 2016. 

Stay tuned...our story of our incredible journey is far from over! 

love, 
Caroline, Will, Jimmy, Tommy and Tubbs

We're BACK!

HELLO! I can't believe I'm back after 2 years of not writing anything! It's not because I haven't had anything to write about, things have just been a tad busy in the Craven household...

As I look back at my previous posts to see what needs to be covered from the past few years of blogging silence, I can't help but laugh at the one of the last ones I wrote.

The title was "Be Still" and it makes me laugh because these past 2 years the Cravens have done anything BUT be still. This is going to be hard but Im going to try and condense what has happened and what has been going on with us since the summer of 2016 when I was still in Japan! Bear with me...


In May of 2016 Will was leaving for his third and final deployment in Japan. If you remember reading the post I just mentioned earlier, we we're in the process of trying to figure out how and if we would be starting a family. Before Will left, we saw a few doctors and it was determined, after some testing, that our best route to have children was through Invitro Fertilization , commonly known as IVF. I remember feeling relieved that we had a plan, but also defeated because I knew we couldn't start anything until Will was home later that summer for a visit. I quickly learned that with infertility and IVF, waiting was just part of it and wasn't going away for a while. 

Fast forward to August 2016, after a long summer of more waiting but also some amazing trips with my girl friends, Will was back for 2 weeks and I had an appointment scheduled with a well known Japanese fertility doctor. We were so excited to meet him and get some answers as to when we could finally have some babies! I will never forget the first day we started our trek to his office and started this incredible, terrifying, and exhausting journey that would change our lives forever. I will write a separate post after this that covers our IVF journey and what it entailed! 

SPOILER ALERT...we got pregnant...WITH TWINS! Again, I'll do a more in depth separate post to cover all the details and the steps we had to take to get pregnant but for the sake of this post not taking forever, this is the very very condensed version. 

At this point we were obviously still living in Japan and we found out the naval hospital where I would deliver did not have a NICU. This meant because I was already high risk with a twin pregnancy we had to figure out where I was going to go and deliver in order to have a NICU present. Our options were very limited and the closest naval hospital was a 2 hour flight away on the island of Okinawa, Japan. No thank you. 

After a lot of speaking with the doctors and trying to figure out the best plan for us, it was decided that I would leave Japan a year earlier than intended and fly home to Raleigh, NC where I would be until the babies were born and Will was done in Japan. My due date was June and with Will deploying again in May this was absolutely the best case scenario for having help at home and not being alone with newborn twins in Japan! On the flip side, this also meant I would have to fly home in February, leave Will in Japan and also accept that he would most likely not be there for the birth of our first babies. Cue the hormonal melt down. 

Things started moving really fast after this with preparing to pack up our Japan home, move Will on base, begin my final "tour de Japan" and of course spend every second with Will as I could. The thought of leaving Japan without him was so hard for me to comprehend. The next time we would see each other we would be parents...to 2! I was an emotional wreck but we made sure to spend every moment together and make the most of it! 

ok...its getting long I know. Heres a fast track timeline...

February 19, 2017- I flew home to North Carolina and said goodbye to my sweet husband! 

May 19, 2017- The absolute lights of our lives were born, Jimmy and Tommy Craven! My mom was with me in the operating room but will got to FaceTime from Japan!

May 23, 2017- Will flys to Raleigh and meets our boys! The most special day and I remember every second. 

June 4, 2017- Will flys back to Japan for deployment. The worst...

August 8, 2017- Will comes back for a visit during the halfway mark of deployment. The boys were almost 3 months old and it was such a special trip to have him with us for the 10 days! 

August 17, 2017- While Will was home we got our new orders! We found out Will was going to be an instructor in California at NAS Lemoore. It wasn't our first choice but we couldn't help but feel excitement about being together as a family! 

August 18, 2017- Will leaves again to finish deployment, but the next time we would all reunite would be for good! 

December 18, 2017- Will left Japan and came to Raleigh! We were done with long distance and could finally be together as a family for the first time! I can't tell you the relief I felt when I picked him up from the airport that night. Being a single mom to twins, with tons of family help of course, was one of the hardest times of my life! But we made it...

We had the most amazing time celebrating with family and friends that Christmas. There was so much to be thankful for and so much to catch up on, truly will always be the Christmas to beat! 

January 9, 2018 came fast and before we knew it we were packing our bags and heading to the airport to start our next 3 or more years in Hanford, California. The boys were amazing travelers and poor Tubbs did great in his kennel on the bottom of the plane. 

Are y'all still reading? Bless you if you are. I am exhausted from all of this I can imagine you are too. I'll end this novel of a post here by saying we could not be more thankful to all of those involved in our past 2 years. Especially the ones that kept this mama going during those long days and weeks when Will was gone! It has been quite the whirlwind but our story is actually just beginning. It may not be filled with the glamorous date nights, traveling and sleeping in anymore but we wouldn't change it for the world. 

We love you all. Cheers to this new chapter of life and what the Lord has in store for us! Knowing him, I better get ready...

Love, 
Will, Caroline, Jimmy, Tommy and Tubbs 

Summer Recap!

This summer has been an absolute whirlwind! 

Once Will left, I knew the only way to make it through these few months, and fast, was to keep as busy as possible. This included a flower festival, a trip to Singapore and Thailand, my birthday, July 4th activities, canyoning/white water rafting, and a water slide in Tokyo. As far as staying busy and time passing fast...mission accomplished. 

My sweet friend Jenn

Singapore and Thailand trip with my friend Cait:

Our hotel we stayed in Singapore!

The rooftop pool was amazing

Our resort in Thailand 

One of the coolest parts of our Thailand trip was the fact that my childhood friend Whitney was traveling through South East Asia and was in Thailand! She was in the same city, at the same time as us...talk about fate. It was amazing to see a familiar face and to have this experience together for a few days! 

My birthday was the day after we got home from our trip, so a few of my favorite girls got together and grilled out! They did such a great job making me feel so special and I am so thankful to have them when I miss my husband and miss my family so much! 

July 4th in our American Flag Chubbies!

The next weekend a few friends and myself drove about 2.5 hrs north to Minakami. We went canyoning and white water rafting! Canyoning is when you slide down waterfalls, which I had never heard of before. We didn't really know what to expect, but it was so much fun! It was nice to be around nature for a bit and get out of the little town/city feel. 

Side note: guy on the far left...not in our group

After doing some research on Tokyo summer events, I came across "Slide the City". It is a huge slip n' slide that sets up and travels through different countries. My friend Victoria and I knew we couldn't miss it, and I'm so glad we did it! 

Before we knew it, it was the end of July and about that time for Mid-cruise break with our husbands. They would be here the month of August and then back out on the boat until the end of the year. To say I have amazing girlfriends out here is an understatement. Summers in Japan without your husband or family can be really hard and lonely most the time. I am so blessed to have met so many great girls out here who helped keep me busy and smiling all summer long! The best part about the summer is about to happen though and I cant wait to see Will again! August...hurry up! 


Love y'all!
xoxo,
Caroline 

Be Still

So usually my blog is an update on our day to day life in Japan and traveling, but I have had some words on my heart lately that I would like to share and I hope they might relate to some of you too. 

The subject: Being Content in the "now"

Ever since I can remember, mainly in my school days, there has always been a need to look ahead and/or wish time away. Whether it was for summer vacation, prom, a sleepover, leaving for college or waiting to visit Will at school on the weekends...wishing time away has been a constant in my life. I'm not trying to say that being excited for something or looking forward to something is a bad thing, I just know its sometimes hard for me to live in the moment and to be content with the "now". 

More recently this has applied to our new life here in Japan and the speed bumps that have surrounded us. Ever since day one of moving here, I have had a countdown of when we get to leave. Of course its hard moving across the world suddenly leaving everything you know and love behind, and on top of that your husband being gone more then half the year, but I have realized lately that wishing our time away here is keeping me from truly understanding our purpose of being put here in the first place. I know Jesus has such a bigger plan for this time of our lives and I need to set my focus on the "now" instead of the "after now". 

I feel like so many of us can relate to this in more then one way. We get so caught up in our day to day lives and what is to come, and forget about how the Lord is using us in that exact moment. 

The verse that has been in my head lately is Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God".

Be still. Two small words but with such a great impact. It is so hard for me to just "be still". So many times I want my prayer answered right now because waiting just seems impossible. Life can be so busy and can pass us so fast but all God wants from us is to be still and let him handle the rest. Such a simple message yet so easy to forget. 

Moving to Japan is such an easy go to when I think about wishing time away, but there are other areas in my life that this applies as well. With waiting for Will to come home, waiting to see my family again or waiting for orders to our next duty station...there are constant unknowns surrounding me. 

Probably the hardest and most emotional time of waiting in our lives recently is waiting for a baby. This subject probably hits close to home in so many people and even makes me partially uncomfortable to talk about something so personal. This past year God has really asked us to trust him and to know that his plan is perfect, even if that means waiting to be parents. Automatically I want to look ahead and try to get answers right away, to know when that day of being a mother will happen, but instead I have been praying to try and understand what he is doing with my life right "now". I have had to learn that God doesn't make us wait for things to punish us or to make us feel abandoned. God wants us to trust him in all situations, big or small. 

I hope some of you can find comfort in reading this in some way. We all have reasons to wish time away and to not be content with our lives in the now. I will be the first to say I struggle with this every day. Whether its waiting for a new job, an engagement, a marriage, a baby, or even just smaller day to day things, I encourage you to find your contentment in the now and listen to where God is leading you. 

Please continue your prayers for us as we continue this sensitive time and get more answers! Pray that I can just "be still" and find peace that I am not alone even when I feel like I am out here in Japan! 

Deuteronomy 31:6, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Love you all, 
xoxo
Caroline 

Making the Most of Little Time

It's 11:45pm and I'm lying in bed with an all too familiar feeling of sadness. I just got back from dropping Will off at the boat to begin Deployment number 2...womp womp.  Driving away from him once again as he walked to the Ronald Reagan was tough but I have decided to take a page out of my sweet husbands book and try to make this post a positive one. With a few unexpected extra weeks together, Will and I have stayed busy exploring Japan and making the most of what little time we did have together. 

In the military you meet people constantly. We have been so blessed with the friends we have made out here in Japan, especially those certain ones who instantly feel like family. Sadly with 3 year orders, its only natural that your friends start rotating out of Japan and headed to their next duty station. After Will got home from training in Nevada it felt like we were having a lot of "goodbye" dinners with some of our favorites. As bittersweet as they were, we know our paths will cross again at some point whenever and wherever that may be! 

The last weekend in April we had Friendship Festival. This is when the base opens up for all the Japanese locals to come enjoy the day and activities. The flight line has every aircraft parked in a row so they can see them and take pictures, along with squadron tents where everyone was selling items. It is always so fun watching how excited everyone is to be there and how much money they spend on merchandise! It was an exhausting day but well worth it! 

Always find me with the babies

My english students came!

After we heard the boat wasn't going to be pulling out on time we were SO excited. Not knowing when it was going to actually leave, we packed every weekend with whatever we could so we wasted no time together. This included a trip to Mount Fuji for the Shibazakura festival, a weekend in Tokyo, a day at Disney Sea, and a trip to Shimoda Beach. 

Picture of a Picture...jumping with Japanese girls

Soba noodles with fresh wasabi 

City of Shimoda from the gondola 

I could not be more thankful for the extra time we got together. Being away from Will is one of the biggest challenges I have, and will ever have to face. He has a heart of gold and to say I'm proud to be his wife is an understatement. I know he gets to do what he loves everyday flying jets, but he also sacrifices a lot and never complains. It would be so easy for me to be negative right now but being able to write this post and relive our past month together is just what I needed. 

Please pray for everyone on the Ronald Reagan and all the families who stay behind to wait for their loved ones! 

I am excited to see what this summer has in store and the places my girl friends and I will visit. Visitors always welcome...seriously...anytime. 

Love you all! 

Caroline